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6 Growth Mindset Lessons That I Have Learned From 2019
Happy New Year everyone! As we say goodbye to 2019 and usher in the new year with 2020, there are a few things, 6 in particular that I would like to highlight and implement into the new year as well. I know it’s not customary to hang onto things when we are so used to hearing the cliche, “out with the old and in with the new,” during this time of year. But I truly believe that 2019 was a year of growth for me and I hope that was the case for you as well.
These are the 6 growth mindset lessons that I have learned in 2019 that I feel was instrumental in my growth in terms of mindset, blogging, business, and interpersonal skills.
1-Know Thyself: What’s your personality type?
According to Myers Briggs 16 Personalities Assessment, I am an INFJ. I am a 5w4 according to The Ennneagram. Without a doubt I am a total Rebel, according to The Four Tendencies. And last but not least, an Outcast, according to the Do It Scared Assessment.
So, what does all of these assessments tests prove, exactly?
They all basically confirm to me what I have known all along throughout my life – that I am an introvert through and through.
I used to think there was something seriously wrong with me because I am extremely independent and I prefer to be alone. I do not enjoy parties or social gatherings of any kind whatsoever.
And now I understand that this is completely normal as an introvert and it does not make me a weird alien or stuck up in any way. But rather, I’d prefer a deeper one on one connection with one person at a time and understand their true self, not the mask that they tend to wear in public.
Schmoozing my way through a crowded room, making uncomfortable small talk with complete strangers, and buzzing about like a social butterfly, does not sound appealing to me whatsoever. Being able to connect with, getting to know a person, and having the opportunity to learn and share in their life’s purpose means much more to me.
Different strokes for different folks, I guess. 🙂 However, I do make an awesome analyst and I tend to work best when I am alone because I can easily get distracted by ALL OF THE THINGS.
2-Decide whether or not it is necessary
As moms, we so undervalue our worth to our families as well as to society. Here’s what I mean by that statement.
If you were to sit down and list out all of the things that you do, and I do mean every single thing that you do during the course of your day, for everyone in your family, you’d be amazed at how incredibly long and exhaustive that list is.
Don’t believe me? Check out your true worth, missy.
Thank you and you’re welcome you beautiful unicorn you! You’re freaking amazing! 🙂
Now, looking at that gigantic list you’ve just done, that’s only for today dear! Lol
How many of those things are solely for your own benefit, not anyone else’s?
If you are anything like me, it becomes like second nature for you to put everyone else’s needs before your own because you are so accustomed to operating your life in that way.
So let’s really take a good hot minute and do the hard but definitely not impossible thing and put YOU first. You’re going to make yourself a priority too!
Because let’s be completely honest with ourselves here, shall we?
If mama is not happy, no one else will be happy either.
These are just personal goals that you wish to accomplish for yourself, to keep you afloat on a daily basis.
Now, take a highlighter and highlight those things that are only for you, it’s high time you make yourself a priority. OK? 😉
Ruthlessly cut out the shiitake mushrooms from your list of to-do’s and torch them (or just delegate accordingly).
Yep, it’s scary, I totally understand that.
But you know more than anyone else that the future you will be thanking present you for being so courageous now and taking charge of your own needs too.
3-Eliminate Distractions To Stay Focused
Knowing my personality type coupled with the fact that I am both cursed and blessed with the gift of self-awareness, I know that I needed to cut out distractions ruthlessly in order to get things done. So I did just that.
I eliminated unnecessary tasks, cut out social media, and said no to almost everyone except for my immediate family when it came to contributing my time, energy, and attention.
As difficult and as uncomfortable as it was, I made myself unavailable to anything and anyone that was draining my time, energy, and attention and refocused that towards my own goals instead.
If you find yourself as everyone’s go-to person to pick up all the slack, the free therapist, the last-minute babysitter, the loyal & dependable “wing person” for whatever, etc., then you may want to read or listen to Essentialism by Greg McKeown as well as Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend.
Much like what Dr. Seuss once said, “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Give yourself permission to say, “no,” to all of the needy people in your life and spend your precious moments to focus on your family instead. Know your “why.”
If you’re a fellow INFJ/Rebel, I can guarantee that your why is not to please all the people. But instead to work so that you can spend time with your family and/or those who matter the most to you.
Be completely honest with yourself and determine what are some of the things you are currently doing in your life that is a colossal time suck and serves you in no way.
I would dare to say that you have at least 1-2 things on your list that you can go ahead and cross off.
For me, it was social media, agreeing to participate in conversations and 1-sided “faux” relationships that lead nowhere (ie. social gatherings without a clear purpose) and succumbing to shiny object syndrome.
It is as if my brain says, “I want to do all the things.”
But my body says, “Pfftt, yeah right, Ninja- nope.” 🙄
4-Eye on the prize
Squirrel! Where? Squirrel? Where? Ooh! There it is again!
Nope! Permission is granted to play whack a mole to your heart’s delight and slay slay slay! Lol
So, 2019 was quite a fulfilling year for me when it came to work-related goals. I made a mental note to Hustle hard and really pushed myself outside of my comfort zone.
Make no mistake, that I am quite flawed and still manage to shoot myself in my own foot, constantly.
And maybe you’re like me too because I easily succumb to shiny object syndrome and I chase squirrels better than a dog with a bone on a good day.
What?! Whose got a course out?
I must have that stat! Come here my precious, I need you… (just like Gollum from Lord of the Rings).
Gimme a book/course/audiobook and you won’t hear a peep out of me for the rest of the day, cause I’m in heaven. (Sigh)
And that’s where the magic of like-minded friends, mastermind groups, and accountability partners come in.
I could not have accomplished any of my goals in 2019 had it not been for my lovely group of blogging ladies. I had a plan going into 2019 determined to suck it up, take the plunge, and do or die and I am so glad I did it!
Because of my decision to do or die trying, 2019 was a pivotal year for my overall growth. The support and collaboration of my accountability group, my mastermind group was the magic ingredient that I needed to light a fire under my bum and propelled me for success.
And for that, I am eternally grateful for taking this big giant leap of faith and jumping into the unknown waters to pursue working from home full-time.
6-Pay it forward
If you are an independent introvert who is used to getting things done all on your own like I usually am, getting help from others may seem like a foreign concept to you.
But I assure you, as uncomfortable as it was for me to open up to others and show them a glimpse of what I am doing and what I am about, literally and figuratively expanded my horizons beyond belief.
Whatever mental blocks I had (fears about not fitting in, not smart enough, not good enough, my tendency to retreat from the world for fear of being judged) were quickly dispelled when I found my people.
People who are doing the same thing I am doing, who genuinely want to help either by lending an ear when I needed to vent about technical difficulties, giving me a fresh perspective from a different angle, & really pushing each other to do better.
Instead of competing with one another or creating a toxic environment like you normally see in the dog-eat-dog world of corporate America or everyday life for that matter.
And of course, we can all use the reminder that whenever possible, pay it forward and “be kinder than is necessary” – (quote from J.M. Barry).
Wrapping Up 2019
These are the 6 things that I have learned in 2019 that were pivotal to having a successful year:
1- Know Thyself: What’s your personality type?
2- Decide whether or not it is necessary
3- Eliminate Distractions To Stay Focused
4- Eye on the prize
5- Be Grateful
6- Pay it forward
What were some of the best lessons that you have learned from 2019 to carry you forward into the new year and beyond?